The Road to Adult Love
Couples often come to therapy stuck in polarizing power struggles, feeling invalidated, and unable to resolve disagreements. The partners in these cases typically believe that they must sacrifice their personal integrity to save the fraught relationship, which only leads to feelings of being trapped and helpless. In this workshop, you’ll learn a new road map to help partners hold onto self-value and value for one another, even in the midst of intense conflict. You’ll discover how to help clients:
- Differentiate between “I love you” and “getting my needs met”
- Internalize self-value—which feeds compassion, appreciation, and loving behavior—rather than relying on validation from a spouse
- Change a partner’s negative impressions even in the midst of in argument, reconciling differing perspectives without undermining them
- Avoid the pitfall of “when I feel better about myself, I’ll treat my partner better” by making it clear that the only way to feel better is to treat our partners better
Steven Stosny, PhD, is the director of Compassion Power. He’s the author of Living and Loving after Betrayal and Love without Hurt, and the coauthor of How to Improve Your Marriage without Talking about It.